Why would you try and avoid conflict in a relationship. Whether you like it or not, even the most perfect relationship is going to experience some conflict. The trick is not to hide away from it, sweep all your issues under a rug and pretend that they never existed. If you ignore things then all the unresolved issues are likely to spin out of control and will probably wreck your relationship. Ignoring an issue does not mean that it has gone.
Disagreements in a relationship are both healthy and normal, they bring out into the open issues that you might be aware of and more importantly issues that you were in blissful ignorance of. This is a great opportunity to sit down with you partner and talk things through, you notice that I said talk, shouting, screaming and the blame game wastes your time, does you no good and achieves nothing.
Whilst you are two equal halves of a relationship you are both separate individuals, each of you has your own individual wants and needs, your own individual perspectives, and at some point your perspectives are going to clash. It is unreasonable for you to expect your partner to concede to your every need, you have to be prepared to compromise, to reach a resolution that both of you are happy with. One of the best ways to mitigate flashpoints is to agree to disagree. There is no point in fighting over an issue, just agree to disagree, work out some compromise or a way around the issue and move on.
In the early days of the relationship make sure that you get into the habit of apologizing if you make a mistake or hurt your partners feelings. Saying the magical word sorry will go a long way in healing any rifts, and taking responsibility for your actions will show your partner that you are someone who can be trusted. Allied to that is the need to become your partners pillar of support and they yours for both the good times and the bad. You have to show that you are there for each other, that you are each others unconditional guarantee of support.
When you have something to say, or there is something that you need from the relationship then say it clearly. Your partner is presumably not psychic so a clear statement of your needs will do far more that some vague, fuzzy statement that your partner has to try and translate.
If your are have a discussion on problem issues then do not reel of a whole load of issues and expect to get them sorted there and then. Apart from being highly confrontational how are you going to give them all the attention that they require. Talk things through one at a time and when you have dealt with one, then move to the next, it is a far quicker way of dealing with things, it is likely to be more constructive and is unlikely to lead to any arguments. And when you are talking, LISTEN, focus on what your partner is telling you rather than how you are going to respond. If your not too sure on what they have been saying, clarify their statements like, what I understand you to mean is...
Whilst you will never be able to avoid conflict in a relationship you can mitigate its affects if you approach it rationally. I know, there are times when you need to let of steam, but the few seconds satisfaction that it brings you will not help the relationship. You need to be able to accept and respect your partners point of view and both of you have to be prepared to compromise. Keep communicating with each other so that you know how each other is thinking and so that you re able to resolve issues before they become a problem. And finally instead of thinking in terms of me, think in terms of your relationship and if your actions will have an adverse affect on you relationship, if you continually seek to make it stronger then you should both enjoy a hopefully long and happy life, together.
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