Women and Self Esteem - Stop Being Childish - 5 Things Your Mama Didn't Tell You About Fighting Fair

As someone who has been in a successful relationship for more than 30 years, let me tell you, I have had my fair share of conflict. I have learned that there are ways of arguing that move the relationship forward, and there are certainly ways of arguing that create wounds of their own. Sometimes those wounds take a long time to heal.

I wish my Mama had told or modeled how to fight fair and be respectful and respected. Conflicts that begin with a simple need for resolution explode into hurtful and damaging fights complete with name-calling, insults and threats for one or the other partner to leave. Your self esteem can take a real hit when you engage in childish fights.

There is nothing empowering about acting like a spoiled child or being on the receiving end of insults and put-downs.

There are bound to be conflicts in any healthy relationship, but if there are no rules of conduct and a 'win at all cost' mindset, feelings are bound to get hurt and it can be really hard to bounce back.

If you are wincing at the truth of these words, take heart, you can stop the foolishness.

First of all... are you about resolving your conflict in a way that maintains both yours and your partners high self esteem, or do you just need to be right? Time to put on your big girl attitude and make some rules for yourself.

Here are 5 Things Your Mama Didn't Tell You About Fighting Fair.

1. Take the words "Never and Always" out of your vocabulary Talk about a hot potato to bring into a conflict. You always .... You never.... As they used to say in old western movies... "them's fightin' words". Decide to stop saying them. No one likes to be told they always do something or they never do something.

2. Stop Name Calling Insulting the person you love, or being insulted by the person you love is bad news. Who can feel good about themselves when they are put down as a person? Be mad, sure... that 's fair, but you can't take back derogatory names. Once they are out there, they are out there.

3. Quit threatening to leave or tell the one you love to leave This is one of the least helpful conflict resolution tools ever invented. Yet, it is hauled out again and again when lovers quarrel. Chances are, neither one of you intends or wants to leave, so quit saying it. It's childish.

4. Talk about your problems when you are in a good mood Don't forget to talk about the issues behind your quarrels when you are both feeling connected. It is important to understand and be understood. That's what you really want, right?

5. Keep it private, especially when children are involved This is THE MOST IMPORTANT rule of all. Children should NEVER have to be burdened with adult troubles. Fighting in front of them is unacceptable.

Keep your conflicts private. Just as you want your partner to respect your privacy when it comes to your conflicts, you are responsible to be respectful as well. So, you may need to be the one to take the lead in this more mature way of resolving your relationship conflicts. Let your partner know that you are ready to grow up and will be holding both of you to a new standard when it comes to conflict resolution.

Your self esteem will benefit from your new code of personal conduct, your partner's self esteem will benefit, your relationship will benefit as well. It's a win-win-win situation. Time to grow up.

I'm just saying...

laminate floors Apple iPod touch 32 GB

Dating Tips- 4 Things Never to Say to Your Girlfriend

"What did I say?" You wonder to yourself. Ever found yourself in this situation?

Dating tips for guys to use to ensure dating women doesn't become a verbal nightmare.
Coco Swan explains those terms that come with a guarantee to upset your girlfriend.

1: "I'll leave it to you to decide." Life is full of decision making. By saying "I'll leave it to you to decide" you are actually saying "I just don't care what you decide". While men think of decision making as hard work, women see making choices as being part of a partnership and look forward to the input. When you leave it to them to make the decision you are making them feel that you just don't care enough.
Solution: "I don't care for plan A but plan B and C sound pretty good. What do you think?" This is a great answer because it gets you out of deciding, displays the fact you were listening and implies you care enough.

2: "Just relax." It might seem rational to you to say this when your girlfriend is totally freaking out. However, your girlfriend is upset about something which she sees as a valid reason for being so. When you tell her to relax, you are implying that whatever is upsetting her to this extent is trivial, or worse, that she is being irrational. Girls do not like to be thought of as irrational. When you stay calm, which in her eyes is doing nothing, you are denying that there is a reason for her to be upset.
Solution: "Let's fix this together. This is upsetting for me as well." You have now become empathic.

3:"I love you" while arguing. The three most romantic words in the English language should never be used to get out of an argument. When your girlfriend is still furious with you, trying to get out of the fight like that will never work. Your girlfriend has more to say and you will be hearing it. By attempting to finish the disagreement like that, you are coming over as trying to sneakily shut her up and you will just wind her up even more. Saying those three words now are not going to help you.
Solution: Explain what has happened, in detail, with a good reason attached. Reassure her that you won't do it again. Now you can say "I love you". It is perfectly acceptable to finish off with this, just don't start your apology with it.

4: Saying nothing at all. You may think this is the safe option. You might be scared of saying the wrong thing. You might be worried about incriminating yourself. You may be thinking "silence is golden". Wrong, so wrong, very wrong and totally wrong! Girls feel abandoned and on their own when you do not talk.
Solution: Say something, anything at all. You are better off to make some contribution to the conversation than none at all. It doesn't matter if what you say is not right, it is always better than nothing at all.

The all time classic one-liners.
These are the three dating secrets that all girls love to hear. By saying any of these you will be sure to defuse the situation and make her far more rational and loving.

"Tell me the whole story." Girls become angry at the thought of not being able to tell their side of the tale. By giving her free reign to talk, she will automatically start to calm down. Additionally, she will start thinking as she is talking "is this part really important?" and "do I really want to tell him this bit? And the story will become a lot shorter.

"You are just so gorgeous." This must be said in a very genuine sounding way, and as if you have just that second been blinded by her beauty. From a girl's perspective, is probably better than saying "I love you" as an end to an argument.

"I'm sorry, it is my fault." Or "I'm sorry, you were right." Hard words to say, but there is nothing more of a turn on to a woman than a man who is prepared to admit defeat on the strength of his love. Obviously, it probably wasn't all your fault, and if so, then you should be receiving an apology as well. You may feel like you are losing face by saying sorry, but in reality you are gaining enormous amounts of respect.

You can win the war of the words. Use this guide to dating to keep the love and romance.
By using these relationship tips you will be able to defuse any argument and keep your love.

Good Luck, Coco Swan.

Cell phone htc playstation games Zinwell ZAT-970A Digital to Analog TV Converter