The Little Mexican Girl

I'm a Little Mexican Girl

I'm a little Mexican girl
Crawling through the scrub in the desert
Escaping from government agency injustice
The very injustice she looks for every day
When she opens her door as a Mexican child
she saw it coming that bad day, una dia mal!
each day can be a bad day in Texas
con los gringos con corazones frios
with the white men with frigid hearts
for little girls who have no money, no pretty dresses,
no shoes at all, no milk no breakfast
it leaves a hole
in the heart in the morning

in front of her Texas house the sun doesn't shine
and her father has no hope
he doesn't have a newspaper every day like the white man
he cannot read it anyway as he doesn't speak English
how can he find a job?
His smart little girl cannot read for him
in English and Spanish en ingles y espanol
as she hasn't started school yet

en in el the morning manana en frente de su casa house
en Texas en Tejas
la sol no brilla
the sun doesn't shine
y su padre no tiene esperanza
her father doesn't have hope
no tienen el periodico cada dia como los blancos
he doesn't have a newspaper each day like the white man
no puede leer en ingles tambien como los otros hombres
he can't read in English either like the other men
?como trabajo el?
How can he go to work?
la nina no puede leerlo por el, porque
his daughter can't read it for him because
no esta en la escuela por/para las lecciones
en la lengua de los estados de America

A screaming male voice emerges
from an Army helicopter over my head
it is a father yelling "I AM YOUR FATHER!!"
she recognizes the voice but does not
know the man screaming at her
and hides further behind a dry Texas
tumbleweed with sharp stickers
Pulling her too-small dress down to cover up
her own privacy privacia
she knows her privacy is her own
she thinks what she is too terrified to say--

LA TENGO!! Quiero mi cuerpo que es celeste. Yo soy confidente que TENGO mas que el gringo hombre, porque mi cuerpo y alma es mia el todo es mio!) LA TENGO!!
Es Mia mio
it's mine, estupido stupid!!

As she crawls through the dirt she looks in terror
through the infrared search light pulsing
and spreading around her child's body
like red liquid liquida
like a wide mantle of fuschia fear
in the dark desert night
overtaking the small girl in the fast redness
encompassing her visual reality overtaking her
she lifts up her hands in a fervent child's prayer
to the Virgin Mother Mary Guadalupe
her patron saint and friend
on many desert dog day nights
in past sufferings suferados suferidos sufridos
sufridandosos como el pasado
pasados posasa posadas

The powerful man in the sky continues
To search the desert floor once her womb
exposing the small shivering child
now a small reptile a spotted lizard blending in
and crawling away
to destiny she worries this must be destiny
but it wasn't destiny it was just solamente the confrontation
the terrible argument with the white man el confrontacion con el gringo
with the white man
in the helicopter
that's all it was
era todo fue todo

el gringo menaced
amenazio fue amenazando era amenazando
the gringo menaced
in the dark satanic night
It was a groping ignorance a widespread perception
that forced her
to be a maid in her worst memories
of tortilla degradation as a young (un joven una jovena)
American girl with no stereotypes allowed
because it's against the law she knows it was
against the law to call her a maid
due to her race and reason not a brown raisin
she is never NUNCA a raisin at all
THE MAN EL HOMBRE continues torturing
CONTINUA TORTURANDO A ELLA her with his authority....

He ruins her life from the sky
and she knows it on the dirt

SU AUTORIDAD no es bueno isn't good
even though it is es verdad ahora es
que ella no es solamente una domestica SOLAMENTE!

no es SOLAMENTE!
Solamente!!! una domestica
no es una domestica todo.

Running every day to Juarez Mexico
to get away from that big lie that cold fear that big lie
la mentira no es la razon no es la verdadero!!no es verdad!!
es un mentira it's a lie
about her the little Mexican girl
la nina la estrellita bonita
succumbs, fainting, but people pick her up
Many hands lift her up from the ground where she had fainted in a quaking terror causing her young heart
to stop with a loss of blood sugar from fear
depleting the little girl
spiked it spike spike spiked

her heart siezes from terror
feeling like a raw crucifixion even though
she was so young and had not
breathed her last breath yet
feeling the prematurely stolen breath suck out of her mouth, the little Mexican Queztochoatl child is also a serpent king.

The little girl dies
she was a king inside herself (no less than a king ) but more than a queen. She is
a lizard not a maid and she sometimes
cleans hotel rooms for food - not a burrito
but a prayer with daily hope and vision now as a small Hispanic child in the U.S.

The crowd carries her across the border
where the Rio Grande is small
and contrite in the saguaro desert night
she is reborn as a little Mexican girl no one loves
but the big man in the sky wants
the native Indian girl she is he wants her pura
Pura pura pura graca graca grace
her brown-skinned beauty and sweet little legs
he wants to restrain her foot
tie it up just like all the rest
she thinks quietly to herself and the people
in the dark satanic night join in her prayers

That is what he wants! that is what he wants!
That is what the powerful man wants
Her booty
The rich man wants her booty
The little Mexican girl's beauty

Is he the devil they ask her?
I said no he is not the devil
but he is no friend of mine
he is a man (un hombre) who does not want me
to be free except every now and then
I breathe now but I will not breathe later
with every breath I take I look ahead in fear!con miedo!

He wants to jail me between his legs again
so I can never leave never leave leave leave
the powerful white man who is black inside
not like a black man but a different kind of black
but I am finally a beautiful woman now
although the child
is still a child la nina es una nina todavia
constantly todo el tiempo una cara nina
I always knew he would come to hurt me
one day soon and I waited until this day

Part of his arm is just I had been told
but the rest is dark and ugly they said it again to me
his teeth are black and angry
he is the occult the deep night he is Satan
they will help me, they said in the constituent assembly
if he approaches you in the dark lonely night
remember he is the Dark Night Satanic
not the Star of David or our Christmas Star
the small crowd warned the little Mexican girl
about the looming helicopter in the sky
that had just menaced her

He will find you little pinanita! No lo quiero!
I'm not a pinata, and he is not the occult!!
the little Mexican girl said! A visitor spoke -remember
the algorithm for the matrix
the red bandwidth
the buxom shortwave the Grundig-
the minimization realization of metaphors
Will recognize the oppressed child
it will be awhile before we can risk
the dark curtain again but we will help you-

Lining her water cups up like a gambler
on the southwestern bus depot counter
she felt anger just thinking about the theft
the little Mexican girl yells up to the bitter sky man
she yells to the doomsday pilot over her head
"GET A BETTER LIFE!!
!TENGA UN VIDA MAS BUENA!"
the violent flyer flew away with disappearing infrared
her product stolen
his waning light trailing behind him
the desert looked normal once more - like God
intended it to look - because he is gone
the crowd of people danced a jubilant
dance un jubilante baile celebrando la victori
a de la nina mexicana mixteca

her heart suddenly stopped pounding
stopped racing dangerously fast and became calm again
she realized she was safe again
Lifting her and breathing on her mouth, the people
regained her composure lifting her up to the
blue blue black night comforting sky
so she could become the leader she really is
she almost lost her place in the hierarchy
through a premature prematura death la muerte
but the people embraced the little Mexican girl
who is not ever a maid not a slave
but a king no less
y more than a queen
and held her up to the night sky cherished

While the powerful man didn't see the beauty
of her heritage, the little Mexican girl
doesn't care anymore about him
and laughs - ella sonrie, saying
FORGET THE MAN, THE GRINGO!!
!FORGET HIM!
!HASTA LUEGO YOU LOSER!!
!HASTA PRONTO!
!!GET A LIFE!!
!!VAYA CON DIOS!!
as the helicopter recedes into the distant stars

The little Mexican girl walks away in her favorite shoes
(en sus zapatos favoritos)
relieved she is still alive
walking toward her destined destina destiny
to eat four delicious tacos
para comer quatro tacos deliciosas
because she was not ever once a maid
in her life
in the rich man's room or his bed or bathroom
of the disgraced harem
no one is a domestic there are not words
for her fear in the night
!no more!! no more!! no more!
nunca mas! Nunca mas! Nunca mas!

No more! porque la hija mexicana no es
!!!UNA DOMESTICA!!!
She is a little star a yellow sun with strength and power

ES UN ESTRELLITA UN SOL AMARILLA CON FUERZA
UNA PRAYER UNA BEAUTY

ES UNA BELLEZA DEL REZO,
CADA DIA TODOS LAS DIAS

Almost the End - (Casi El Fin):

when it rains it pours,
las desgracias nunca vienen solas.

The little Mexican girl has hope and courage for the difficult decade she will have. She plans to grow up and fight racial heritage discrimination, as well as the men who fly helicopters in the desert sky over her head. Her conscience will continue to lead her to victory.

LA LUCHA CONTINUA!! THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES!!
!!LA LUCHA CONTINUA!!...

© 2009 Patricia McGurk Martin

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When Daddy's Little Boy Wants to Be Mama's Little Girl

In my entire life I had never seen my father's uncovered body. Everyone was expected to be fully dressed at all times, morning, noon, and night, either dressed in street clothes or sleepwear. There were no exceptions. Daddy would send you away from the supper table if you dared expect to dine in a T-shirt. But the times were different now. If my father needed to be moved or roll over onto his side, I helped my mother.

I was shaving. One day at the age of 14, when my father saw what I was doing and asked if I was going to get some of that shaving cream out of my ears before I left the house. I continued trying to shave even though there was little if any hair on my face or for that matter any where else. Daddy also asked where I was headed to anyway. I said I was going to a movie.

"Really," he said. He probably figured I was headed to downtown Kernersville, NC with my brother or sister, or perhaps even the cute girl across street. But he asked anyway. "Who are going with to the movies?" he calmly asked.

He was not really prepared for my response. Not many fathers are, and frankly, I was not prepared for my response to his question either.

With my face covered with shaving cream, I looked up at my father-a mountain of a man, standing six feet tall with chiseled muscles on a large frame, and with an expression of such affection and love glowing through all that form-and I said, "with Gat!"

When Wit Taylor, my father, was bedridden, weak from radiation and chemotherapy, and nearing death, he showed me for the first time his collection of photographs that he kept locked in a safe. I asked him to tell me about the people in the photographs, all my relatives, and when he did I would write a small number on the back of the photograph and log the names, dates, place with any other information he could remember on a separate piece of paper. Dad and I did this for almost three days. He gave me his collection of photographs. The oldest one is a photograph of my grandfather, Robert Paul Taylor, in his World War I army uniform. I have pictures of my grandmother and my great-grandmother.

With that, the expression of tenderness and joy upon seeing the only male heir, the only Taylor left to bear the family name, taking his first steps toward so-called manhood by shaving, were replaced with the heavy concerns and burdens of fathers everywhere. He knew that look on my face and the sparks in my eyes for a boy who lived across town meant that this was no ordinary friendship. I was in love, and it was not the neighbor's daughter that caught my fancy. He moved closer and said, "Didn't you have dinner with him last night, and lunch today, and the two of you are going to a movie together tonight?" "It is just a movie," I said sheepishly.

He moved closer; I grew frightened, and he said, "We already have one Mark in the family. We do not need two!" That was all my father ever said to me about being gay. He wanted me to know he was no fool.

I shaved daddy for the first time in my life, and he would let me, calm and smiling. One time a friend of my mother's from church brought daddy some clears oils I believed had been blessed by our pastor. Daddy wanted mother to rub it on his back. She bristled and instructed me to do it. What! Me?"

I had never touched my father's shoulders. I proceeded to rub the oils and became more aware of the moment, and of his pending death, and of my own someday. While I was rubbed the oils, his physicality, even at seventy-six years of age, shockingly resembled my own. Even though I was forty some years his junior, I could see the shape of his fingers, how they remind me of a childhood memory of the way his fingers resembled fat cigars, and now how my own fingers look the same. How his skin, though weak and old, draped on his body over his bones and muscles felt familiar to me. His muscles, that at one time fought for more room insides his work clothes, are the same pine cone-brown color as mine. It will all become a memory, causing me to wonder if the dead ever remember that at one time they were alive.

But he never stopped me from seeing Gat, or anyone else for that matter and years later he often encouraged me to bring my boyfriends to the house. "I will deal with your mother,"

My father knew who and what he was raising and he never mistreated me--or tried to make a man out of me. And because he never beat me or abused me in an attempt to toughen me up in a time during the late '50s and early '60s, when doing so would have been consider the right and proper thing for a father to do when confronted with an effeminate son, I will always cherish his memory. I know at least one man in my life truly loved me, and that man was indeed my father.

"If you don't want these I am going to throw them out," my mother told me when I was back home visiting. They were love letters written to my father before he and my mother were married. She also gave me a 1922 silver dollar from my father's coin collection, his drivers' license, and a pair of shoes, cuff links, handkerchiefs, and key chains. And a photo album. An album of proud men: strong men, and their wives.

When "daddy's little boy" wanted to be "mommy's little girl," I knew I was in trouble. I wanted to knit, sew, bake cookies, quilt, and paint, kiss boys, and play nurse. Now at forty-five years old, I create art by adorning women's handbags with colored pins, puzzle pieces, beads, mementos, and charms. I know I can do these things because I have the support and grace of a loving father in my heart.

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Dollhouses - How They Help Your Little Girl

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Traditionally, doll houses have been the classic toy for a girl to receive, whether it be as a Christmas gift, birthday gift, or a hand-me-down from her mother. But recently there's been a general move away from dollhouses, as regards what our children play with. Is this wise? Dollhouses have many benefits that one wouldn't think of at first. There are different parts of the brain that are stimulated and developed through what goes on in a dollhouse.

First of all, of course, there's the imagination. Immersed within the fantasy of the loving family within the house, the girl is able to create stories and dramas that may or may not seem complex to us, but they are always just the right amount of challenge to her budding mind. This is because within the comfortable confines of her dollhouse, a young girl usually feels safe enough to experiment with new thoughts and ideas, but is not afraid of doing it wrong or messing up in front of anybody; it's rare that she finds this in any other situation in her life at this point.

Another thing that a young girl experiments with within her dollhouse is social interaction. By using the dolls of the house as proxies for people she imagines or knows in her life, she can experiment and try out new ways of talking to and responding to people, and sometimes maybe even bring out some pent-up aggression of frustration that she doesn't feel would be good to express in "real life", and deal with it in the safety of her miniature home. This is very cathartic and lets her hone her interpersonal skills without the fear of embarrassment or ridicule, and again, this is a very rare thing to be able to have at this age.

Lastly, and most importantly, the young girl is practicing the holding of responsibility. This is, after all, her world; it's up to her whether the family has a nice day, or a horrible one. It's up to her whether the children inside get along or fight all the time, and whether the problems that may come up get resolves or go on without solutions. She's in charge of what happens, and in that taking charge, she generates lots of self-esteem and security within herself. That is what true emotional development is all about!

So as you can see, dollhouses can form not only a nice part of a girl's childhood, they can be a crucial ingredient in her overall mental well-being and development as a person. We should all definitely consider going back to those times when every girl had one.

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Little Suggestions For Fighting Stretch Marks During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is God's gift to mankind to make more of their kinds. Every woman can be blessed at some point of their lives. Although pregnancy is filled with mixed reactions through out the pregnancy, one common problem that almost all the pregnant women face during the pregnancy cycle, probably for some extended period even after the delivery is the stretch marks on their skin. Many of them struggle to rid off this ugly lines on their skin.

There are medications and even counter medications to cure them. Many treatments have been followed since ages to avoid or may be to treat the stretch lines on their body. As the adage goes, prevention is better than cure; many women try to prevent the stretch marks even before they appear. Obviously, it is comparatively much easier to prevent them than curing it. Then it will be like trying to catch the tail of the cat while leaving its head.

There are many preventive measures for preventing the stretch marks. Here we will discuss the most popular ones to help you follow and gain from these suggestions. The first and fore most way is to have a routine skin care program. Routine means it is just routine and should not be followed by chance. For making the program routine it has to be very easy to follow. In the sense the steps have to be simple and handy with very minimal requirements to follow the program. Quite understandably, one can feel lazy to follow and hence may avoid the treatment. Try to choose the program that fits in your routine than theoretically feeling that the program is good.

A majority of stretch marks occur due to a sudden increase in the body mass. During pregnancy especially, the body weight is bound to increase owing to the additional weight in the tummy. At least a little care has to be taken for moderating the weight loss. A moderate weight gain will not probably cause much stretch mark on the skin.

Another most commonly followed skin care suggestion is hydrating the skin as much as possible. Those areas which are especially bound to stretch like the tummy, breasts, bumps for some individuals, thighs have to be taken utmost care. Water therapy can be one of the solutions for almost any kind of problems or ailments. Drink as much of water as possible. This is not only good for the skin but also good for the baby as well. Also self hydration by the application of moisturizers can greatly help to avoid stretch marks.

Massaging the skin very frequently with oils and moisturizer crèmes is one of the most renowned solutions for stretch marks. Hot oil massage before bath also greatly enhances a healthy skin.

Not to forget the healthy diet rich in vitamins and minerals and also gulping additional vitamin and mineral pills helps to not only have a healthy living but are also good for the skin to combat additional stress caused during the pregnancy. The elasticity of the skin is balanced by these substitutes. In addition these are helpful for the over all growth of the foetus as well.

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